Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Ode to the Big Mac


I love Big Macs. I just do. I've always thought they were delicious, ever since my dad let me get one after a soccer game when I was a kid (I usually just got cheeseburgers or a happy meal, so this was a big deal). But recently, I learned that I have been robbed of the full big mac experience! In France now there's apparently a whole wheat Big Mac, in Canada they've got the Big Mac snack wrap, and God knows what else is out there that I haven't eaten! Wikipedia lists 7 more variants which I have yet to experience! This is distressing to me in the extreme. I mean, I wouldn't get a Big Mac-themed wedding or anything, but still.

To add to its excellence, the Big Mac is useful too! There's the Big Mac Exchange Rate Index, the Big Mac Museum, a Big Mac programming language, and God knows what else. What an incredible thing!


Goddammit I'm hungry.

Environmentalism needs to MAKE SENSE

I love the Freakonomics blog, if only because their econ analysis is so offbeat. Today, Daniel Hamermesh wrote a really interesting post about the fallacy of certain environmentalist arguments- they take time! I'm a big fan of valuing time as literally worth money (the figure he uses, 1/3 of salary, isn't necessarily one I would use, but hey whatever), and using this analysis... (FTA)
Assume the average computer user’s wage is $21 per hour, and take the old estimate that time is valued at one-third of the wage. So each person’s time per year turning his/her computer off and on is worth 20 x $7 = $140. I’m being conservative and assuming only 50 million U.S. computer users. That gives a cost of turning computers off/on of 50,000,000 x $140 = $7 billion, which is 2.5 times the alleged savings from turning computers off. Even if people’s time were valued at only $3 per hour (less than half the minimum wage), leaving computers on would still make sense.
While there are some good comments in there debating the validity of the argument, I agree with it pretty throughly, just from personal experience. At my job, it's standard procedure (actually mandated procedure) to turn your computer off when you leave work (a process which I frequently have to supervise, due to the age of my machine and the error prompts that show up in the course of shutdown procedures), which means you have to turn your computer on in the morning as well. Despite what some of the commenters say, this period is entirely unproductive time, and it frequently takes me as long as 15 minutes before my computer is to the point where I can start working on it (old hardware rears its ugly head again). My work is almost exclusively computer-based, so even if I were to get up and get a cup of coffee it's STILL unproductive time, and it actually induces FURTHER unproductivity, in that I'm pissed at my computer every morning, and so less inclined to start work right away. His figure is lowballing it, in my opinion.

So leave your computers on at night, ladies and gentlemen. Your wallets demand it.

(via Freakonomics Blog)

ohhhh so much sterility

Breach of contract? O RLY?

Monday, March 30, 2009

UPDATE: HOTELICOPTER A HOAX


why. why would you lie to me, hotelicopter??? You don't really exist? You're actually a viral ad for Yotel? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

if you see something, say something


So stupid as hell or not, I still think the new British anti-terrorism ad campaign is well designed. Sure as hell inspired some fear in me. Also, nice font.

Kind of a far cry from Keep Calm and Carry On, no?

(via DesignYak and BoingBoing)

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Reality-modifying razor

I think Schick's latest ad is masterful, and the internet seems to agree. Full video embedded below. Although to be fair, I still think the Gillette Power Fusion Gamer razor is the pinnacle of razor technology, and Penny Arcade agrees.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

HOTELICOPTER


The HOTELICOPTER has gotta be up there among the best names for anything anywhere ever. And to match the fucking awesome name, check out this gallery of the goddamn thing. DO WANT.

(via Gizmodo and hotelicopter.com)

ShamWHATTHEFUCK


In what is truly a WOW moment, the Shamwow guy was arrested after punching a South Beach prostitute in the face. And in a truly wonderful FTA:
Shlomi [Shamwow guy] told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue.
He's gonna wow ya. Or is that the other guy?

(via Consumerist and TheSmokingGun)

GUEST POST FROM BRITTANY

Dear Namibia,
why must you be so dull and bad tasting?
Truly yours for the next 20 months,
Brittany

Edit:
PS. Add bacon. That seems to help anything. But thats just cuz i kinda miss pig meat

Best blogger EVER

Now this guy is dedicated to blogging.

15 year-olds can be skank ass hos too.

This just in: 12 year-old children DON'T FATHER CHILDREN. Also, they'll believe anything a pretty girl 3 years older than they are says.

So a couple weeks ago, The Sun broke the story that 12 year-old Alfie Patten fathered a child with 15 year-old Chantelle Steadman. So first of all, he's planning to be a better father at 12 than a lot of men are at 30. Second of all, he's playing video games with his infant, which is awesome.

Now, in a ridiculous turn of events, apparently he might not be the father. FTA:

At first Stedman said Patten was the only boy she had ever slept with, but soon after other teens came forward saying they too could be the baby's father, because they claimed to have had sex with the girl.

Other TEENS? As in plural? She's FIFTEEN. Here's the kicker, he's sticking around anyway.

Personally, I think Geekologie has got the right idea. GTFO WHILE YOU STILL CAN!

(via The Sun, Geekologie, and the Herald Sun)

New Math

Internet + math - numbers = NewMath

Friday, March 27, 2009

Microsoft harnesses FANBOY RAGE

Oh Microsoft, your I'm a PC ads have just been trying so hard to draw in customers (and recently, they've worked much better). This new bit is simply hilarious, though.

Here's the premise: Microsoft finds an "average customer," gives them $1000 cash, and tells them to go buy any computer they want that fits their requirements, and they get to keep the extra cash. Watch the first one here. Brad Brooks, Corporate VP for consumer product marketing at Microsoft "swears on a stack of bibles" that they didn't try to influence the girl in the commercial's decision in any way, which is hilarious to me. The cash was coming from an anonymous benefactor? Who just happened to be wearing a Microsoft Windows shirt, filming with a Microsoft Windows branded camera and asking you about MICROSOFT WINDOWS products?

I love these ads, cause they've been saying exactly what I've been saying for the past two years. Sure, Macs are pretty and all, but a full wallet is much much prettier to me. Also, the line "I'm just not cool enough to be a Mac person" really hits Apple's key problem on the nose. You can't maintain a brand based on exclusivity and price differentiation in a recession for long, and even if you sell well, the more you sell the more diluted your brand gets. We'll see where they end up long-term.

Anyways, I was still a fan of the Jerry Seinfeld-Bill Gates duet of the old old PC ads. What's wrong with buying shoes as a computer ad?

(via all over the place)

Office 2007 Pro for CHEAP

As long as you have a valid .edu email address, Microsoft is willing to sell you Office 2007 pro for 91% off! That's just $59.95 for a full, legit copy of Office, which is just about the best deal around this side of ThePirateBay. They've also got a Vista Ultimate upgrade for $64.95, which is dirt cheap as well.

I actually bought Office 2007 from this website myself two years ago, they have a deal like this for "a limited time only" every year or so, and it's legit. Only thing is that they send you a link to a digital copy (no actual CDs sent to you), which was actually better for me, cause I can back it up all I want, but if you're the kind of person who can't live without CDs maybe think twice.

(via BoyGeniusReport via Business Insider)

Hardee's Western Bacon Burger

So I love hamburgers. And bacon. And Padma Lakshmi. So why the hell wouldn't I love this ad?

(via adrants)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Why Professional Athletes Go Broke

Here's something I never understood- what the hell do football players do after their three or five year contracts are up and they're left broken, bruised shells of men, what the hell do they do with all their money? The answer: they go broke. Holy crap, these people are bad at managing their money. According to this article, by the time they have been retired for two years, 78% of former NFL players have gone bankrupt or are under financial stress because of joblessness or divorce, and within five years of retirement, an estimated 60% of former NBA players are broke. WOW.

These guys are actually given "financial counseling" before they start up, but apparently it's not working. So why aren't professional players making more of a stink about this? If I were a retired NBA player, well I'd probably be sleeping on a pile of money, but besides that I feel like I'd lobby the organization for better financial services for newbies... Nobody's raising these concerns?

(via SportsIllustrated)

Lickable advertisements

Now this one's new: lickable ads.

20090326-tastestrips.jpg


They're called "Taste-it Notes", and apparently Campbell's Soup and Welch's have already signed up for this. It looks like they're advertisements stuck into newspapers that you can lick... WHY WOULD ANYBODY DO THIS?

(via Serious Eats via theDeal.com)

Meebo adds ads

So Meebo, in the incessant quest for monetization that plagues all Web2.0 startups, has decided to start showing ads that cover their whole website. It seems to actually have worked, according to TechCrunch. This is really surprising to me, since I usually hate those massive fullpage ads all over the internet (CollegeHumor is often a good example of this), but Meebo seems to have gotten something right here. FTA (example comments):

“I read your message about why the background changed and everything, and I definitely agree with what you’re saying. (Especially the sucky, flashy ads that cover your page you’re trying to view). With that said, nice work! I actually really like the way the ad is incorporated into the background, and slightly opaque. It’s not too distracting, and if the ads are helping you guys out, by all means, keep doing it this way! : )”

This is really interesting to me, because advertisements are an extremely difficult thing to integrate into a website, especially nowadays. Now users have adblock and are accustomed to ads all over the place, so a 1% clickthrough rate on only semi-targeted ads is really really impressive.

(via TechCrunch and Meebo Blog)

WOOT OFF

It's a WOOT OFF!

Everybody get your wallets out! There's more stupid shit nobody needs for sale!

Blackberry App Store set to open April 1

In a move that the Blackbery-toting world desperately hopes isn't a giant April Fool's Day joke, RIMM is set to FINALLY open an "App World" to directly compete with the Apple's (much better named) App Store. It looks like it's set to court the higher-end clientele (read: rich business types) that RIMM can boast, with a minimum app price of $2.99. I've always been of the opinion that the Blackberry hardware is superior to anything else out there (minus the Storm, iPhone clones have troubles of their owns) because their keyboards are simply better than anything else out there. Say what you want, I need my physical keyboard to type effectively and quickly, and Blackberry does that better than anybody else (I'm looking at you, Palm Centro). Now let's see if they can get any actual apps on there, or if it's just gonna be filled with $2.99 fart apps.

(via BusinessWeek, Engadget, and BoyGeniusReport)

because it makes me LOL

Dino humping

that is all.

Essay Writing Mills

So cheating's a hot-button topic at any college campus you go to, but the logistics of it are often lost in rhetorical debating. This article from the Chronicle of Higher Education tries to dig a little deeper into the back-end of essay mills, which is really intriguing, actually. Who would have thought that a guy in Nigeria would be writing papers for American college students? FTA:
In a previous era, you might have found an essay mill near a college bookstore, staffed by former students. Now you'll find them online, and the actual writing is likely to be done by someone in Manila or Mumbai. Just as many American companies are outsourcing their administrative tasks, many American students are perfectly willing to outsource their academic work.
And the very idea that you can commission an entire dissertation from an essay mill (or that people accepted into Ph.D programs would even consider the option) amazes me.

More AIG

There's some interesting demonization of AIG employees going on, in large part due to the scandal surrounding the retention bonuses. This strikes me as mob violence of the basest kind- especially since the angry people often don't take the time to discern if the people in question even worked in the divisions at fault (which many of them didn't and don't). FTA:
"I didn’t have anything to do with those credit problems,” said Mr. Haas, 47. “I told Mr. Liddy”Edward M. Liddy, the chief executive of A.I.G., the insurance giant — “I would rescind my retention contract.”
Here's another interesting tidbit:
The New York attorney general, Andrew M. Cuomo, said on Thursday that A.I.G. had handed over a list with the names of the bonus recipients. But he did not release the list. “We are aware of the security concerns of A.I.G. employees,” Mr. Cuomo said in a statement, “and we will be sensitive to those issues by doing a risk assessment before releasing any individual’s name.
Why are you even CONSIDERING releasing these peoples' names? Why would you willingly put these people in harm's way? This, by the way, would be exactly what he's doing- FTA again:
But several security companies in New York credited the financial crisis with a noticeable increase in some areas of their business, from protecting executives to dispatching bomb-sniffing dogs to check for trouble. “There is certainly anger among people about the economy and fear among corporate executives themselves,” said Patrick Timlin, the president of Michael Stapleton Associates, which provides bomb-dog teams.
and also:
Mr. Haas walked on, his pink shirt a burst of color on a slate-gray afternoon. The words came haltingly. "You have to understand,” he said, “there are kids involved, there have been death threats. ..."
Lord.

Reactions to this are really interesting to watch. Paul Krugman's article is really interesting (I don't necessarily agree with it, but from a policy standpoint it sure does make sense). And the fact that Valleywag posted something about the whole debacle really says something about the scope of the reaction.

Oh, and just another little tidbit- now that executives have no incentive at all to stay (and considerable impetus to leave), AIG might be even MORE screwed- nationalization anybody?

Dear AIG, I Quit!

The recent AIG bonus hubbub has been really interesting for me, mostly as a study of what the American people will and won't get pissed off at. Basically I've come to the conclusion that neither Congress nor the people understand quiiite what a retention bonus is (which is understandable, most of them have had no need to). What's less understandable is the fact that nobody takes the time to learn. The NY Times carried a really interesting op-ed a couple days ago- the public resignation of one of the people who elected to stay at AIG to manage the downsizing and restructuring. Here it is on one page, and it's copy-pasted below, courtesy of the New York Times:

March 25, 2009
Op-Ed Contributor

Dear A.I.G., I Quit!

The following is a letter sent on Tuesday by Jake DeSantis, an executive vice president of the American International Group’s financial products unit, to Edward M. Liddy, the chief executive of A.I.G.

DEAR Mr. Liddy,

It is with deep regret that I submit my notice of resignation from A.I.G. Financial Products. I hope you take the time to read this entire letter. Before describing the details of my decision, I want to offer some context:

I am proud of everything I have done for the commodity and equity divisions of A.I.G.-F.P. I was in no way involved in — or responsible for — the credit default swap transactions that have hamstrung A.I.G. Nor were more than a handful of the 400 current employees of A.I.G.-F.P. Most of those responsible have left the company and have conspicuously escaped the public outrage.

After 12 months of hard work dismantling the company — during which A.I.G. reassured us many times we would be rewarded in March 2009 — we in the financial products unit have been betrayed by A.I.G. and are being unfairly persecuted by elected officials. In response to this, I will now leave the company and donate my entire post-tax retention payment to those suffering from the global economic downturn. My intent is to keep none of the money myself.

I take this action after 11 years of dedicated, honorable service to A.I.G. I can no longer effectively perform my duties in this dysfunctional environment, nor am I being paid to do so. Like you, I was asked to work for an annual salary of $1, and I agreed out of a sense of duty to the company and to the public officials who have come to its aid. Having now been let down by both, I can no longer justify spending 10, 12, 14 hours a day away from my family for the benefit of those who have let me down.

You and I have never met or spoken to each other, so I’d like to tell you about myself. I was raised by schoolteachers working multiple jobs in a world of closing steel mills. My hard work earned me acceptance to M.I.T., and the institute’s generous financial aid enabled me to attend. I had fulfilled my American dream.

I started at this company in 1998 as an equity trader, became the head of equity and commodity trading and, a couple of years before A.I.G.’s meltdown last September, was named the head of business development for commodities. Over this period the equity and commodity units were consistently profitable — in most years generating net profits of well over $100 million. Most recently, during the dismantling of A.I.G.-F.P., I was an integral player in the pending sale of its well-regarded commodity index business to UBS. As you know, business unit sales like this are crucial to A.I.G.’s effort to repay the American taxpayer.

The profitability of the businesses with which I was associated clearly supported my compensation. I never received any pay resulting from the credit default swaps that are now losing so much money. I did, however, like many others here, lose a significant portion of my life savings in the form of deferred compensation invested in the capital of A.I.G.-F.P. because of those losses. In this way I have personally suffered from this controversial activity — directly as well as indirectly with the rest of the taxpayers.

I have the utmost respect for the civic duty that you are now performing at A.I.G. You are as blameless for these credit default swap losses as I am. You answered your country’s call and you are taking a tremendous beating for it.

But you also are aware that most of the employees of your financial products unit had nothing to do with the large losses. And I am disappointed and frustrated over your lack of support for us. I and many others in the unit feel betrayed that you failed to stand up for us in the face of untrue and unfair accusations from certain members of Congress last Wednesday and from the press over our retention payments, and that you didn’t defend us against the baseless and reckless comments made by the attorneys general of New York and Connecticut.

My guess is that in October, when you learned of these retention contracts, you realized that the employees of the financial products unit needed some incentive to stay and that the contracts, being both ethical and useful, should be left to stand. That’s probably why A.I.G. management assured us on three occasions during that month that the company would “live up to its commitment” to honor the contract guarantees.

That may be why you decided to accelerate by three months more than a quarter of the amounts due under the contracts. That action signified to us your support, and was hardly something that one would do if he truly found the contracts “distasteful.”

That may also be why you authorized the balance of the payments on March 13.

At no time during the past six months that you have been leading A.I.G. did you ask us to revise, renegotiate or break these contracts — until several hours before your appearance last week before Congress.

I think your initial decision to honor the contracts was both ethical and financially astute, but it seems to have been politically unwise. It’s now apparent that you either misunderstood the agreements that you had made — tacit or otherwise — with the Federal Reserve, the Treasury, various members of Congress and Attorney General Andrew Cuomo of New York, or were not strong enough to withstand the shifting political winds.

You’ve now asked the current employees of A.I.G.-F.P. to repay these earnings. As you can imagine, there has been a tremendous amount of serious thought and heated discussion about how we should respond to this breach of trust.

As most of us have done nothing wrong, guilt is not a motivation to surrender our earnings. We have worked 12 long months under these contracts and now deserve to be paid as promised. None of us should be cheated of our payments any more than a plumber should be cheated after he has fixed the pipes but a careless electrician causes a fire that burns down the house.

Many of the employees have, in the past six months, turned down job offers from more stable employers, based on A.I.G.’s assurances that the contracts would be honored. They are now angry about having been misled by A.I.G.’s promises and are not inclined to return the money as a favor to you.

The only real motivation that anyone at A.I.G.-F.P. now has is fear. Mr. Cuomo has threatened to “name and shame,” and his counterpart in Connecticut, Richard Blumenthal, has made similar threats — even though attorneys general are supposed to stand for due process, to conduct trials in courts and not the press.

So what am I to do? There’s no easy answer. I know that because of hard work I have benefited more than most during the economic boom and have saved enough that my family is unlikely to suffer devastating losses during the current bust. Some might argue that members of my profession have been overpaid, and I wouldn’t disagree.

That is why I have decided to donate 100 percent of the effective after-tax proceeds of my retention payment directly to organizations that are helping people who are suffering from the global downturn. This is not a tax-deduction gimmick; I simply believe that I at least deserve to dictate how my earnings are spent, and do not want to see them disappear back into the obscurity of A.I.G.’s or the federal government’s budget. Our earnings have caused such a distraction for so many from the more pressing issues our country faces, and I would like to see my share of it benefit those truly in need.

On March 16 I received a payment from A.I.G. amounting to $742,006.40, after taxes. In light of the uncertainty over the ultimate taxation and legal status of this payment, the actual amount I donate may be less — in fact, it may end up being far less if the recent House bill raising the tax on the retention payments to 90 percent stands. Once all the money is donated, you will immediately receive a list of all recipients.

This choice is right for me. I wish others at A.I.G.-F.P. luck finding peace with their difficult decision, and only hope their judgment is not clouded by fear.

Mr. Liddy, I wish you success in your commitment to return the money extended by the American government, and luck with the continued unwinding of the company’s diverse businesses — especially those remaining credit default swaps. I’ll continue over the short term to help make sure no balls are dropped, but after what’s happened this past week I can’t remain much longer — there is too much bad blood. I’m not sure how you will greet my resignation, but at least Attorney General Blumenthal should be relieved that I’ll leave under my own power and will not need to be “shoved out the door.”

Sincerely,

Jake DeSantis

Geico commercials

I dunno if I'm the only one, but I've really been digging the Geico ad campaign's music (as well as the campaign itself, those guys have a great ad agency). Luckily for me, Geico was kind enough to provide some information about it, as well as a download link. Post below for those too lazy to click through,

The Remake of ''Somebody's Watching Me''...

Rockwell vs. Mysto & Pizzi featuring vocals by Renald Francoeur

Mysto & PizziMysto & Pizzi, in collaboration with Agent Jackson music, have partnered with GEICO on our latest commercial campaign. The music in six new Kash spots is Mysto & Pizzi's remake of Rockwell's "Somebody's Watching Me," featuring singer Renald Francoeur. This 1980's remake is fresh for 2009 and available in full length downloadable format, free, from GEICO.

Mysto & Pizzi are two up and coming producers, ages 21 and 22, hailing out of Queens, New York, who are quickly establishing a name for themselves in the world of Pop and R&B with placement on albums by R. Kelly and Kelly Rowland and projects for Justin Timberlake and Ciarra.

Listen to the song using the link below or right click to download and save the MP3 file.

Kash: dollars & eyeballs


Download

Somebody's Watching Me

Hiya!

So hopefully this blog'll grow, I just thought of the idea today. We'll see what ends up getting posted here, but basically anything interesting I see.